Introduction 

In this week’s blog, we peer into five wisdom pearls for successfully navigating relationships. I will cover things not usually looked at in articles on relationships. It is because our relationships are, all in all, inside jobs. ALL our encounters with others are reflections of our relationship with our True Self. This topic has held my attention not only as a Libran but also as a Near Death Experiencer (NDEr), and I am not the only one. There are tens of thousands of Near Death Experiencers who, when they briefly died, experienced what is commonly called a life review. Life reviews contain a personal review of one’s human life in the Presence of what appear to be Loving Spiritual Guides.

You may wonder what life reviews, or NDEs, have to do with relationships. After reading and hearing many life reviews from speakers at the Virginia Beach Chapter of the International Association for Near-Death Studies (VBIANDS) meetings, I finally saw the connection. One Saturday morning, it dawned on me as I sat in the audience listening to yet another talk on the subject. No one has ever had a life review concerning work, religion, education, health, habits, or money.

Life Review — Single-Pointed Focus

No. Instead, life review focuses on one thing and one thing only; how we treat others, ALL others, in our lives, from our most intimate of lifelong connections to the seemingly random stranger we pass on the street.  

In his life review, among many memories, one NDEr remembered changing a flat tire on his truck. In the memory, a car stopped and offered assistance. The NDEr looked up, not answering but scowled at the driver. Years later, long after he had forgotten, it came up in his life review.

Only this time, the NDEr felt the man’s feelings, who only wanted to help. He also felt the driver absorb his bad mood and took that mood home to his wife and family. He also felt the wife’s and children’s inner responses to it. All this from a scowl in a stressed-out space? He was mortified (no pun intended!) by his behavior. He forgave himself the Reality of the event, but not before he felt his part in full as things occurred from a more significant picture point of view.

The NDEr was a changed man when he returned to human life, where he made a conscious decision to treat people with the utmost respect. Thus, he touched the hearts of nearly everyone he encountered from that point on. This story was but a tiny piece of his life review.

Navigating relationships successfully is, and will be, hands down, the True Measure of our human lives!  

One more time. Soak it in.

Navigating relationships successfully is, and will be, hands down, the True Measure of our lives! For what we do unto others, we do unto ourselves.  

Never more true is this than in our life and life review. Natural authenticity and balance between ourselves and others are essential to our inner health (and theirs) and well-being now and in our combined future.

Five Wisdom Pearls for Successfully Navigating Relationships 

Our ideas about how we’re conditioned and taught to treat each other in relationships have created a world dream of misinformation and a dysfunctional world community based on lies. And we can see it doesn’t work.

No matter what kind of relationship shows up, there might always be challenges to face and obstacles to overcome. We can trust that we may not get what we want, but we always get what we need. Integrating the following five wisdom pearls helps us to remember who we are — in any relationship.

1. Understand What a Relationship Is and Isn’t

Relationships are, in Truth, figments of our collective imagination. In Truth, we are One. But in the Dream World of Duality, they are all too real. They give us the warm fuzzies, push our buttons, and in all ways, trigger our best and our worst, too.

They are serious in their relentless reflections on ourselves to wake us up to who we really are, while showing us who we are not in the process. When we move through what relationships have to Really offer us, there is no limit to the freedom we can experience within and with the other in whatever capacity we are related.

A relationship is never something that can be controlled. Nor can we change anyone. People come as they are. The connection is simply a space where two people come together and interact. If someone disrespects you, it’s just to let you know to treat or love yourself more.

See it for what it is, and the Truth about the mirrors will shine through the muck and the mire. Each person brings baggage, experiences, and perspectives into any relationship, which either adds or subtracts from the quality of the relationship. But, there is no Other.

2. A Reality-based perspective on relationships

The life review lets us know that all we need in life are mirrors in the form of “other.” We are here to Wake Up to the Love Consciousness we Are, and to the extent that we’re missing the mark, the mirror of another will let us know where and how via triggers of life-taking influences.

Our rough edges get hewed smooth through working through these trauma dramas. What was once a diamond spirit in the wild rough now shines the unfathomable brilliance of the Absolute and Love Consciousness made manifest in us. We’re all One playing the game of “Let’s Wake Up to Love via Relationship Mirrors.”

3. Let the benefits motivate you to stay the course.

As already discussed, the maximum benefit for successfully navigating your relationships keeps you in a state of joy here and in your life review. From a spiritual viewpoint, there’s a synergy when both parties are in harmony and tap into Unconditional Love.

This is true whether it shows up as a kind connection with a stranger, a community service, hammering out a business plan with a partner, a flirty first date full of promise, or the transformation of a long-term relationship to its next chapter.

The human dimension of relationships isn’t forgotten. We help each other with our basic needs and desires, i.e., raising families, creating productive lives, and sharing with like-minds in a worthwhile society. Our core passion for giving and receiving love reaches fulfillment in those present moments/weeks/months and years when we are in harmony with All That Is (and All That Isn’t). There is Everything to gain and nothing but pain and suffering to lose. What could be more beneficial than that when you go deeper into the purpose of relationshipping?

4. Get Real – Expectations

One of the most important things you can do in any friendship, personal relationship, or business partnership is to get real with yourself. Be honest with yourself and others about your thoughts, feelings, boundaries, and expectations. If hounded by past trauma in life, don’t be ashamed. Find the help that works for you until you release it.

Even if due diligence happens, partners tend to have or develop unique expectations of each other. Know what to expect from your significant other by eliciting each other’s values early on.

5. Super Healers That Foster a Cooperative Spirit

Specific tools can help foster a cooperative spirit within any relationship. These include what I call Super Healers: Love, Humility (Flexibility), Forgiveness, Gratitude, Listening, Compassion, Authenticity, Respect, and Boundaries. There are many more. An annual study began on one of these at the beginning of each year is highly recommended. Install them into your lifelong conditioning. I have done this myself off and on. Each practice has been utterly transformative. When these Super Healers are utilized, it’s much easier to work through challenges and disagreements. 

Conclusion

Today, let’s apply these five wisdom pearls for successfully navigating our relationships, i.e., getting real, understanding what a relationship is and isn’t, managing expectations and benefits, and using tools that foster a cooperative spirit. We are likely to find that our relationships improve dramatically; we communicate better, profoundly connect and resolve conflicts more effectively. And, when it’s our time to go, our life review will reflect our efforts.

Comment on a relationship wisdom pearl of your own?

Love and Remembering Who You Are,
Kaye